Statistics show that 1 in 4 women suffers a miscarriage, a sad reality. a hurt that many people have been carrying alone for years, which I believe doesn't have to be that way.

Allow me to briefly share where 'Ever Be Ministry' comes from and what the motivation and drive are behind.

+/- 3 years ago after a few doctor appointments and fewer positive test results, Ian and I found out we were pregnant (in our eyes a miracle, if you keep all the other stuff in mind). We couldn't wait to tell the family, I couldn't wait to tell the people asking so often, "now when is it time for a baby" that we're going to have a baby now too.

So a few days before our first 8 weeks of sonar, we went to the doctor for a complication and the dr couldn't get a heartbeat. It was a Friday afternoon and she gave us until the Monday so we can test again and look to make sure. Our entire Connect group has been fasting together for the whole weekend in faith that we'll see a heartbeat on Monday. Unfortunately, that wasn't what the Monday showed on that screen, our little baby's heart stopped beating. I was admitted that same day and the evening 10 o'clock I got a scrape.

I don't think anyone in the family or circle of friends could believe it, no one in the family has ever lost a baby, my family is fertile and no one struggles with conceiving or "holding" babies.

That night in the hospital, my heart was touched by people coming to hold Ian and me high. The room was full of friends and family. So the sisters asked if the whole church was coming.

I'll also never forget the feeling when they pushed me out of the theatre into the hall and I saw Ian, I felt 'empty' like I can't explain.

The next morning I got up and realized that this whole experience was just going to hurt me if I didn't do something about it on purpose. And all I know to hurt is to go be good for someone else. The Lord pressed on my heart to go back to the hospital and pray for the sisters and minister to them. Not to let the devil steal more than I already feel I've lost.

And this is where the ministry began. When I walked into the hall, I took a small bacon tree with me, in case there was someone who was in the same situation as me.

After I prayed for the sisters, they sent me to Bed 10 (Same bed where I was just lying the day before that). There I had the privilege of praying with a wife, her mother and her husband, someone who is now a friend, they also lost their baby. We could cry together and just realize we're not alone, it's not a shame, it's ok.

As my journey with healing progressed, so did the ministry and regularly someone would call me to ask if I would go and pray for someone in the hospital who had lost their baby. It's a strange ministry, I know, but there's so much healing in it for my heart. Being able to sit together and share someone you've learned so far, to just be able to be someone together, brings out something in your heart that can't be described.

As Ian and I made its turns, the ministry also grew and with each setback and next miscarriage, the Lord raised the heart within me for others who have to work through this himself.

One day at a testimony morning for women who had miscarriages or were struggling to conceive, I met a friend who herself had a few miscarriages and also a quiet birth. My heart was cut anew and I could thank the Lord with a sincere heart that my journey was easier. We teamed up and eventually the ministry got a name... Ever Be Ministry. Named after Bethal's song - Ever Be.

Bethel has a song (Ever BE) words sound like this:

Your love is devoted like a ring of solid gold

Like a vow that is tested like a covenant of old

And Your love is enduring through the winter rain

And beyond the horizon with mercy for today

Faithful You have been and faithful you will be

You pledge yourself to me and it's why I sing

Your praise will ever be on my lips, ever be on my lips

And the song and name sum up the whole ministry, the whole journey through which someone has to work that loses their baby so beautifully.

Your praise will EVER BE on my lips, ongeag my omstandighede,

Your praise will EVER BE on my lips, ongeag my infertiliteit of soveelste miskraam,

Your praise will EVER BE ON MY LIPS Jesus because I choose to praise You even though I feel and don't see the stuff at this point.

So the name is almost a declaration that I won't give up, I don't have to be okey, as long as I just don't give up.

Our heart is to go and serve women in the hospital preferably before they go in for the scraping, precisely because it was the 'scarcity' time for me because I don't really know what emotions to experience or what to expect. It's not a counseling session, just a prayer and I'm here. Some people ask us to stay until after scraping, others we pray and go again.

We started making up parcels for moms who lost their babies with practical things that helped me heal and some days just cope with the hurts and questions:

Spekboompie:
- After each miscarriage, Ian and I planted a tree as a sign of life. Therefore, every woman gets a small bacon tree. the reason for a bacon tree is because I see it when such a "faithful unrighteous tree" a bacon tree needs little to no water, yet it grows, a bacon tree's branch can be broken down hard, pressed into a plot of soil and it will take root and grow. And regardless of what the bacon book gets, it's one of the trees that takes most "bad" carbon dioxide out of the air and converts it into clean oxygen. And that's why the tree is so valuable in this case. Even though my baby is gone and I feel it's unfair for others to keep their babies, I choose to let something good come out of this
Heart stress ball:
- A red heart stress ball to take you into theatre with you. It's the scariest saddest feeling to be pushed into that clinical corridor and knowing it's the end of your pregnancy dream (for now). Holding something in your hand gives people a kind of calm to know you're not alone
Pearl pendant:
- This is something small and delicate and unique that you can wear every day. Something that will always remind you that you are a mother of a baby in Heaven
Boekmerk:
- A coloring bookmark with songs on. This bookmark is to keep your mind occupied with 'nothing', to color and make something beautiful for your bible, with the date of your little one or the name or whatever. The songs were inspired by true residuals of people who trusted and may not have gotten the miracle, yet chose to keep believing after the setback, those songs speak to your spirit when your heart is just too tired
Skapie:
- Then there's a crocheted sheep for moms who have had silbirths. The sheep is the size of a newborn baby and I believe it's something 'tangible' you can hold on to, on which your tears can drip, something that just temporarily feels like it can take away all the hurt. Each one is uniquely crocheted and special.

These suits and even the visit can't take away the hurt someone feels at all, but in my heart I believe it helps with the recovery. Each person experiences it differently and each person "heals" in a different way. But a hug and love is something that helps us all. Knowing that I am not walking alone gives people courage.

I believe each of us knows someone who may have had to go through the hurt, maybe you and your family have experienced the hurt themselves. That's why we want to invite you to 'partner' with the Ever Be team so we can support other families going through the should.

Here's how you can get involved if the Lord puts it on your heart:

Pray for the ministry and people who will encourage others daily in the hospital
Financial contribution for parcel purchase: (ABSA, Cheque rack, 9357 3253 08) – We are registered as Non-Profit and can get a Tax proof should you wish
Share your story and testimony to help and encourage others in this way. Send your story to everbe.ministry@gmail.com

For further information or to get involved, contact Petronel 084 506 9696.

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